Leader of the Polish Ski Jumping Team Faces Paralyzing Fear

— When coach Michal Doleżal saw my state shortly after, he immediately suggested that I should not jump in Planica. And so it happened — recounted Paweł Wąsek about the events from 2022 in the book "Za punktem K". During his first competition in Slovenia, he felt a paralyzing fear due to a traumatic accident in 2014. "I have never seen it. And I don’t want to see it," he firmly states.

Wąsek is considered the undisputed leader of the Polish team this season. This weekend, he is competing on a giant hill in Oberstdorf, where he first jumped in a World Cup event outside of Poland. When the announcement of his nomination was made, he went silent.

The ski jump has always stirred fear in the 25-year-old, a remnant from his dramatic accident in 2014.

In an interview excerpt from the book "Za punktem K," Wąsek discusses his traumatic accident on January 15, 2014, when he was just 15 years old, serving as a test jumper before the World Cup competitions in Wisła. He reflects:

Natalia Żaczek, Jakub Radomski: What do you remember about that accident?
Paweł Wąsek: I recall stepping off the takeoff. I felt the ski pushing away and starting to flip. Then flashes of memories: I am in the ambulance, with a lady next to me. I ask her what happened, and she says I had an accident and we are going to the hospital. "It will be okay," she added. The next flashes are from the examinations. People move and adjust things around me. Full consciousness returned only when I was peacefully lying in the ward.

Fortunately, I didn’t injure my spine. How long did you stay in the hospital? A week.

Did you later watch that accident on video?
Never seen it. And I don’t want to.

That was when the fear of flying entered your mind.
After the accident, I wanted to return to the jump ramp as soon as possible. The spine was fine, but I needed months to heal. When I finally sat on the bar, I realized that I had a problem. The awareness of being on the ramp came back, and the thought of what had happened returned. I understood I was afraid. For the first year, I thought about whether I should just quit all of this. My attempts were tragic.

I jumped in Szczyrk on a K40 hill, while I should have jumped on a “90.” When we moved to the K70 ramp, I couldn’t push myself. "Why do I need all of this if I can’t even jump on a small hill? Me, who is afraid here, has to jump on mammoth hills in a few years?" — I wondered. I had to work through that, and year by year it got better, but to this day it happens that my mind doesn’t let me go.

That was the case in 2022 during the World Cup in Planica, right?
This is a mammoth ramp that instills the greatest respect. I think that many jumpers are afraid on such ramps; they just don't talk about it. Even before the training jumps, I was stressed because I had in my mind that this ramp is different from the others. I went to take my first jump, and I already knew that I wouldn't be able to jump at my best. I was clearly late for the jump, the ski hit hard against the ramp, and began to move away from me. Thousands of thoughts flickered in my head.

I had to save myself to land safely. If someone had asked at that moment whether I wanted to continue jumping, the answer would have been short: "Not in a million years!" However, I reasoned, "I am at animportant event. There is no way I will quit. I have to go give another jump." I drove up, but the snow in the tracks melted, so they canceled the series. A little later, Coach Michal Doleżal saw me in my state and immediately suggested that I should sit out in Planica. And that is what happened.

How does this fear manifest itself?
In the mind, a million thoughts whirl around. You feel like your legs are made of cotton, and they won’t be ready to push off. But above all, you get the worst visions of what could happen at any moment.