Commentary: Krista Pärmäkoski Reveals Dark Side of Her Soul in New Book – "A Bottle of Gin or Medication?"

Based on Krista Pärmäkoski's autobiography, her victory in Lahti last spring was miraculous. Her life was punctuated by panic attacks and mood medication, writes Pekka Holopainen.

Krista Pärmäkoski reveals her tough moments in her new book. Picture by Tomi Hänninen / Chilipictures.

Pekka Holopainen, sports journalist

In the late 2000s, before the decade was over, the Finnish Ski Association invited the media to hear from former stars and get to know new athletes. One of them was Krista Lähteenmäki, now known as Pärmäkoski.

A colleague of mine, who had seen it all, quickly made a notable evaluation about the newcomer, as Virpi Kuitunen (now Sarasvuo), who also had a similar history, was not known for being approachable in the sports media.

Gradually, Lähteenmäki, who graduated from the Sotkamo skiing school, began to respond to the call, and now, 15 years later, she has become one of the most successful Finnish athletes of the 21st century, boasting 12 championship medals and four individual Olympic medals.

Like a Tailor-Made Mold

Specific toughness and a borderline chilliness have been intrinsically linked traits in elite sports, and Pärmäkoski has comfortably fitted into these over the years.

Wherever the red light of a camera or microphone has been lit, her actions have been solid, words measured, and her presence controlled and calm in all possible situations. One of the key skills of an elite athlete is knowing how to say "no," and Pärmäkoski could easily craft a thesis on this topic with top marks.

Although public figures are thankfully not cast in the same nationalistic heroic mold as decades ago, Pärmäkoski has appeared to be an enviable individual: immense success in a challenging profession, translating that success into financial benefit, and possessing both exceptional physical condition combined with a mental zen state.

Then came October 9, 2024, and the release of the autobiography Avoin (written by Yle Sports' journalist Laura Arffman, published by Gummerus).

In her book, Pärmäkoski brings down the steel woman statue as vehemently as the Iraqi people struck down statues erected for dictator Saddam Hussein.

Hidden From Outsiders

The past couple of years for the skier, going through a divorce process, have been marked by instances that an outsider could never have deduced from her public persona: continuous severe panic attacks, mood medication, and regular therapy. Amid all this, her victory in the Lahti World Cup last spring was indeed a miracle.

When an episode struck, she pondered how much medication she was brave enough to take. Her mind was so low that she could hardly endure it. Although Krista knew she was strong, it was frightening to think about whether to drink a bottle of gin or take medication.

Deciding to unveil this dark side of her soul was a conscious choice by the main character, a significant service. When superstars like Krista Pärmäkoski talk about generally silenced elements, the resonance is at a different level than if a much less credentialed individual opened up publicly, mainly due to a lowered publication threshold.

Krista did not want anyone to see her during a panic attack, in a state where she only feared, trembled, and could not speak. Anxiety grew, and the car had to stop during the journey because Krista felt so poorly. The panic surged, she needed to get some air.

Poor communication with her coach, Matti Haavisto, drained Krista Pärmäkoski's psychological resources significantly. Picture by Tomi Hänninen.

Occasional panic disorders followed the young athlete throughout her career and life, but the situation escalated to its worst around the time of the Lahti World Cup in 2023, when her pet dog suddenly passed away, and her marriage was also in tumult. Poor communication with coach Matti Haavisto also deeply affected the athlete.

After all this, Pärmäkoski's energy was consumed by hiding her health situation from outsiders and long contemplation about the continuation of her career. Winning the 20 kilometers (p) in Lahti last March sealed the fate of this skier, who often speaks about her dreams of motherhood, continuing through the World Championships in Trondheim and the Milan Olympics in 2026.

According to her autobiography, Pärmäkoski is mentally preparing for the peak of her career much better than in the 2023–24 season. Anything else would simply be inhumanly unreasonable.

Krista Pärmäkoski announced last summer that she would continue her skiing career.

Added at 11:16: The book's author, Laura Arffman, is also a sports journalist at Yle.